Happiness is a choice. It is what you choose to think, about what you think.
Happiness is not based on your initial thoughts. Everyone has good thoughts, and everyone has bad thoughts. It is your response to these thoughts that determine the level and frequency of your happiness.
Nobody is always happy, and nobody is always unhappy, that’s not how it works. But it seems people are either happy almost all of the time and unhappy once in a while, or they are unhappy almost all the time and happy once in a while. It’s not a fifty-fifty proposition. It’s more like ninty-five to five. It’s a lifestyle. You are an optimist or you are a pessimist. Though most people don’t call themselves pessimists, they call themselves realists, but it’s the same thing. They are still focusing on the negative.
To the pessimist, when something good happens, they think that it’s an anomaly, that it’s a flook. They experience it as something infrequent and unimportant that has little influence and no permanence. To the pessimist, good things are temporary and specific.
When something bad happens, a pessimist thinks that it’s the norm. They think, of course bad stuff happens to me, bad stuff always happens to me in so many area of my life. A pessimist sees bad things as generalized and permanent,
To the optimist of course, just the opposite is true. The bad stuff is the anomaly and the good stuff feels right. They think, Of course good stuff happens to me. I’m an good stuff magnet!
Many things bring happiness like gratitude, helping, and giving, and a job well done.
It’s important to note that happiness comes from moving toward getting what you want, not from getting it. Many people think, I'll be happy when I get a great job, or I'll be happy when I'm rich, or I'll be happy when I meet the right person. It's just doesn't work like that.
If you decide on what you want, you appoint that as your goal. You are happy moving towards it, and unhappy moving away from it. But if you get it, and you stop there, what you appointed as your goal, you now have to disappoint, and you will be disappointed. It can no longer be what you want, because it's what you've got. It is human nature. Nobody wants what they've already got. Everyone wants what they haven't got. So what you appointed as your goal, if you stop there, will leave you disappointed.
The key is, before you get what you want, decide what you want next, and celebrate the first goal on your way through it. Happiness is the road, not the place, the journey not the destination, so when you get close to getting what you want, make sure you decide what you want next.
In addition to counting your blessings, happiness comes from moving toward getting what you want, and every night we have a dream that takes us to that place just before we get what we most want and leaves us there. This is the most powerful place there is, that place right before we get what we want, and then we drop quickly off into healing sleep.
How we experience our problems is a more significant factor in our happiness than are the specific problems that we experience. Life is not about becoming free of problems, rather it is about becoming a better and better problem solver. Instead of complaining and worrying, we can learn to see our problems as creative opportunities that give us the chance to grow and improve. We can take on our problems as puzzles to be solved, or as challenges to be enthusiastically faced. When we get into stressful beta states, we move into fight or flight syndrome, where the only problem we are prepared to solve is survival. The filter or reticular activating system between the conscious and subconscious minds closes down, denying us access to memory and creativity. By utilizing the alpha state you get in touch with your problem solving capabilities. With the filter open, you can use your imagination to go beyond what you know into all that could be.
With Finding your Self in Paridise, you will.
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Michael Benner and Steven Snyder's
- focused passion -
Focus brings to bear the power of the conscious mind, and Passion brings to bear the power of the subconscious mind.
When the two minds come together in harmony, something magical happens.
They create a third mind, a higher consciousness.
This is literally a second level of thinking.