enhancing relationships

Tell me, said BrainMind, about the relationship between love and freedom.

The bird alone soaring, is a sign that it's free. as true of a freedom as could ever be
But the lonely bird searches the sky up above, to join with another, trade freedom for love
For love is not freedom in the sense of alone, a freedom much different around love has grown
Freedom to join, experience, care. the freedom of love is the freedom to share
I want you my lover with all of my heart, for freedom feels lonely when we are apart
I'm free when I’m with you, when all's said and done, the truest of freedom is when two are one

William was a wonderful partner in every single way. His wife Sheryl, had been overjoyed with every single aspect of their romantic and sexual relationship. Only now there was a problem. The time was right, they had both agreed, finally to have a baby. Therefore they began for the first time, to make love without birth control. This seemed to affect William in a very powerful way. Although for the most part, he could still perform as always, he was no longer able to ejaculate during intercourse. This was disturbing because he thought that it meant that he really didn't want to have a baby. He used Alpha to see if that was in fact the reason. William, who was a very auditory person, went into the Alpha state and asked himself the question, “Why don't I want to get Sheryl pregnant?” The answer came to him instantly in a return question, “Are you sure that you can”?

When William awoke he realized that he had never impregnated anyone before. He assumed that it was because he had always used birth control, but what if he was impotent? Part of him was afraid to find out. William and Sheryl both went to their doctors and discovered that they were both capable of creating a child. With that fear behind him, William's problem disappeared.

Perhaps the most special of all the wonderful ways of sharing the feeling of love, a sharing of the Life Force itself, is by expressing ourselves sexually. The intimacy of the experience of making love can open up whole new levels of communication between partners. With this interchange, the nature of the relationship always changes. A relationship is never the same again after sharing sexual intimacy. In most non-sexual interchanges we receive information primarily through only two of our senses; sight and hearing. Only in the act of making love are we able to communicate truly through smell, touch, and taste as well.

When loving is good in a relationship it is usually just one of many areas of focus. But when it is bad, it often becomes an all-consuming problem. Ideally, making love is an Alpha experience. Actually it can be two different Alpha experiences. You are in Alpha when you focus on what you or your partner are experiencing, the physical sensations of the body or the emotional experience of intimacy. You are also in Alpha when you let go and space out into your imagination and fantasy.

Imagination and fantasy are very important aspects of the human sexual experience. Not to be ignored is one of the basic functions, to create children. If the purpose of the coupling is procreation, then there is a whole deeper level of communication that happens in the experience. Humans experience sex as more than procreation, but instinctively it is always a factor in our sexual intercourse. Love in general and lovemaking in particular, provide us with an opportunity to learn about ourselves as we see ourselves reflected in the eyes of our lovers.

Each of us teaches our lovers how to love us, through the ways that we love ourselves. We can see our lovers as mirrors for ourselves and in this way better understand who we really are. Enhancing relationships is less a question of technique and more a question of rapport. Rapport is the connection, the heartfelt communication. Poor technique can be handled through practice if the desire is there. Poor rapport leads to uncomfortable feelings, and poor communication. Relax, tune in, and trust your intuition. Pay attention to your partner's gestures and body language. Let communication become more of a loving and learning experience. Be creative, be intuitive, and be open enough to listen to everything that your partner tells you, both in words and in gestures and movements. Romance, in all of it’s wondrous forms, can continue to grow through communication and experimentation.

 

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your heart drifting up into your head. Then imagine a peaceful place. Make this quiet peaceful place you've chosen seem as real as you can. Imagine that you have just finished making warm, tender, passionate love with that special someone in your life. Get in touch with the sensations inside your body, the calmness, the relaxation, the warm glow inside your heart. Now focus on the external sensations, the natural scent of your lover, and the way it feels with your lover next to you. Get in touch with the bonding, the connection that making love has helped to create. Feel a sense of oneness with your lover, stronger than you have ever felt it before. Feel a deep sense of satisfaction, a sense of togetherness that goes far beyond the physical closeness. Whenever it feels comfortable for you, take a deep breath, open your eyes, come wide awake. Then get yourself up and with passion, take your next action step.

BEFOREPLAY
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your heart drifting up into your head. Then imagine a peaceful place. Make this quiet peaceful place you've chosen seem as real as you can. Imagine yourself standing and facing your lover just prior to making love. Look into your lover's eyes and see the passion that is stirring there. Look deep into the eyes of your lover and thereby deep into your lover's soul. As your lover looks deep into you, begin to feel a similar feeling of passion stirring inside yourself that enhances the sense of connection that flows between you. Let this feeling of oneness, of synergy, begin to build and build, even before you reach out to each other. Tune into this wonderful feeling. Whenever it feels comfortable for you, take a deep breath, open your eyes, come wide awake. Then get yourself up and with passion, take your next action step.

LOVING COMPLIMENTS
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your heart drifting up into your head. Then imagine a peaceful place. Make this quiet peaceful place you've chosen seem as real as you can. Imagine that in a non-sexual setting, your partner is complimenting you on what a wonderful lover you are. Listen to the comments about passion and consideration. Listen to the comments about excitement and creativity. Enjoy the feelings that these compliments evoke in you. Know that they are richly deserved. Now take this opportunity to express back to your lover just what her or his words have meant to you, and how important it was to you that they were shared. Feel a sense of pride and confidence growing deep inside you. Whenever it feels comfortable for you, take a deep breath, open your eyes, come wide awake. Then get yourself up and with passion, take your next action step.

TOTALLY TACTILE
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your heart drifting up into your head. Then imagine a peaceful place. Make this quiet peaceful place you've chosen seem as real as you can. Imagine that you are in bed with your lover. Imagine that all of the tactile receptor sites in your body and especially on the surface of your skin are gently becoming more and more sensitive. Feel intensely the sensation of your lover's caress. Notice the enhanced sensation in your own fingertips as you return the caress. As more of your skin comes in contact with your lover's skin, feel yourself let go and fully experience the sensations which accompany this enhanced sensitivity. Watch how your lover enjoys it too. Notice a form of communication between the two of you that goes far beyond words. Whenever it feels comfortable for you, take a deep breath, open your eyes, come wide awake. Then get yourself up and with passion, take your next action step.

 



Focus brings to bear the power of the conscious mind, and Passion brings to bear the power of the subconscious mind. When the two minds come together in harmony, something magical happens. They create a third mind; a higher consciousness. This is literally a second level of thinking. With Focused Passion, all the power is in the second level of thinking. You get to think about your individual thoughts and feelings, and choose to empower the positive ones, and choose to release the negative ones. In this way you come to enjoy all of your thoughts and all of your feelings. Do this and you will discover that there is a side effect. It is called happiness. Happiness is not about your particular circumstances. Happiness is not about your initial thoughts. Happiness comes from what you think, about what you think.

Here is a simple and powerful technique for creating the state of Focused Passion. Focus comes when you move away from stress, just a little of the way toward sleep. Passion comes when you enjoy what you are doing.

Focus Passion is moving from divided attention (multi-tasking) to paying attention to just one special thing. Do this and you slow down your mind. You move toward stress when you feel endangered. To move into Focused Passion you need to feel safe.

Close your eyes.

Most of the input that comes in through your five senses comes in through your eyes. Close your eyes and you slow down your mind. It’s the first thing you do when you want to fall asleep. Focused Passion can be reached with your eyes open, but closing your eyes cuts out many of the potential distractions.

Take a deep breath and imagine that you are in a very safe and peaceful place.

By making this safe place, a place that you love to be, you add passion to your state of focus. When you feel stressed you tighten your muscles and hold your breath. Release your muscle tension and let go of your breath and you will begin to feel safe. Choose this place with your intuition. Let it be the first safe place that comes in to your mind. Imagine that you can see this place, or that you can hear the surrounding sounds. Simply pretend and get the feeling that you are there. If your mind goes off to a different place, just notice this and then bring yourself back to your first place. Always return to this same place each time you wish to re-create this state of Focused Passion.

With Focused Passion you can solve the only two problems that you face. One problem is that you know what you want, but you don’t know how to get it, and the only other problem is that you don’t know what you want.

When you don’t know what you want, you go to your place of Focused Passion and you ask. Then you listen for the answer. This is called meditation, introspection, reflection, or prayer. If you believe in a higher power then you might believe that the answer comes through you. If you don’t believe in a higher power then you might believe that the answer comes from you. Either way the process is the same. You ask, and then you listen for the answer.

If you do know what you want, then you tell. You imagine what you do want, as if you already have it, over and over again, with GREAT PASSION! This is called mental programming, visualization, self-hypnosis, or auto-suggestion. It is an application of the amazingly powerful law of attraction.



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with far less stress, and much more passion?

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Michael Benner and Steven Snyder's
- focused passion -

Focus brings to bear the power of the conscious mind, and Passion brings to bear the power of the subconscious mind.
When the two minds come together in harmony, something magical happens.
They create a third mind, a higher consciousness.
This is literally a second level of thinking.